Nothing

i feel absolutely nothing
nothing
nothing left to do
only to wait until
i turn to nothing

I wish the cold blood
that runs through my veins
would slowly stop
until my heart is nothing

why feel
when there isn't anything to feel
anything left to do
but sit and realize that what's hapenning
is indeed real

i want things to be different
i really do
but how can it be different
if i don't have you

Nothing
sits here quiet and alone
nothing
no longer sits and waits by the phone
nothing
is who i am
nothing
is who i wish to be

Time passes by

as i sit here
waiting for you to notice me
waiting for a sudden change
waiting for my life to get better

why is it that
everytime you hurt me
i always come running back
always come with a new hope
that maybe things will be different

i still sit here
changing who i am
thinking of solutions
to the character i have become

i put on my mask
try to fake a smile
is it better
if you think that i'm happy?

are things better when
i just leave
stay quiet
quit complaining ?

i think for a while
or maybe for a long time
i will go away
and hope that i don't look back

Am i just a[n]. . .

mistake
something you wish you never had done
something that you deeply regret
something that shouldn't have happened

loser
for hanging one
for trying to believe
for wanting to be with you

idiot
believing your lies
hoping that one day things would be different
wanting something more

nothingness
that should just disappear
that should give up trying
that should forget everything

piece of shit whose life will never amount to anything ?

Borderline insane

I truly am going crazy
yet i don't think i can go back
i don't think i really want to go back

true you can call me crazy
because i stay
even though i don't know the outcome
i wait
even though it seems endless
i love you
even though it seems like you don't care

i don't really know why
i believe that one day
things will change
but for some reason
i feel like maybe that day
is coming closer and closer

wait
is what you tell me
i don't know
is what gives me hope
i just need time
is what makes me think that you are actually considering it

But how about the fact that
i don't think i can wait forever
i do know that i want to be with you
and i don't need time
because i am already at the point
where i know what i want
even if it means the beginning to my downfall

How did i

go from being who i was
to becoming who i am today
i don't get how i became so weak
so small
so dependent
i can't say that i like who i am becoming today
because every single step
every single breath
every single second i have to spend without you
i feel like i am getting smaller
and smaller and smaller
Who knew that i was so stupid
as to believe that one day
i would be a bigger person
if i were by your side
but instead i lay here
tired and alone
slowly growing smaller
and smaller